Reply to Do you think you'll do it again...cheating...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Daisies and roses maybe not, but I just don't see why two people on a second marriage don't have the same shot. I always hear about what happens when u have to start doing the daily chores with an AP. I don't see how that's any different than with any other human being. Also, I have trouble with the statistics.  I only know one person who's second marriage failed, and he was a drug addict and married a stripper.  All the other couples I know are going on 5-15 years together. [/quote]

Statistically they don't have the same shot at all. First, very few affairs end up in marriage. The biggest study on this shows it is 3% (among educated professionals). Of those 3%, 25% make it to five years.

So it is possible but is rare. I think it depends on circumstances. If you are using an affair to escape, and you develop a relationship, after a while like all relationships it can lose the allure. Real life gets in the way.

Another big one for people with kids is that there is a challenging history. If family finds out it could be awkward when you bring the affair partner over (if it's obvious, like you were married, now you are separated, there is a new person who was your co-worker, not hard to figure it out as I can't imagine the jilted spouse keeps quiet to family about it). So that can create tension.

Second marriages are statistically more likely to fail anyway but I think one that has started as an affair has so many more challenges. I don't know, I think even if your marriage was horrible, you need a bit of time to adjust and heal from a bad marriage. It takes its toll on you and if you get started in a relationship before you've separated/divorced I just think you are not being fair to yourself. Also imagine it would be confusing as hell for the kids.
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