Reply to Single mom IVF- Fair to future child?

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[quote=Anonymous]I am a single parent by choice and my kid is now in middle school.

It took a long time for me to make the decision, and it was a lot of hard thinking and reflecting in addition to financial planning.  Once I'd made the decision, I shared with friends, some of whom were eager to process it with me and share their own anxieties and worries.  This wasn't helpful, although the intentions were good.

Some of what I've learned:

*practical things like snow shoveling are super hard when you are a single adult with a baby or little kid
*you can make parenting decisions without conflict with another parent, which is usually positive (though sometimes another perspective might have helped)
*I have no regrets that I had my kid in my early 30s, as it mattered to me to be in sync with my peers and have more energy
*I always set up full time day care and/or surround care for my kid, even if I didn't always use it, and appreciated this flexibility.  I've preferred to rely on professionals rather than ask friends or family for consistent help.
*Serious medical stuff is hard, emotionally and logistically, to handle alone.
*My kid has had lots of cool opportunities and hasn't internalized a binary understanding of gender or gender roles.  They have a lot of practical skills and life experiences having accompanied me to so many places, and they have a lot of freedom and autonomy.
*I don't think single parenting is necessarily harder than parenting with someone; they are hard in different ways.  Our home life has always been pretty chill.
*Not knowing 1/2 of your genetics is complicated for a kid and maybe not ideal. 
[/quote]

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