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Reply to "Tried to ‘mentor’ young woman, not going well"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] Jane either has a crush on Bob, in which case she might become his girlfriend or wife. Or Jane somehow thinks she's going to move up in this organization thanks to Bob. If the flirting gets too much, and you're the one responsible for this WG, then you need to step in tell her to knock it off because it's unprofessional. If he's doing it back, then given him the speech too. [/quote] Bob is married. I can’t tell if Jane thinks it is ok to interact like this in a professional environment or if Jane is oblivious as sometimes the young tend to be. Jane is 28 so younger than the others but terribly young.[/quote] She may be young but you are terribly naive. Jane is not. It matters not that Bob is married. Trust me on this one.[/quote] I have to give Jane credit. She's realized early that rising up the ranks is usually not based on merit. I've seen others use this approach and it works. Putting your head down and doing a good job on your assignments usually doesn't.[/quote] I've actually seen highly productive and intelligent women use this approach to advance. It doesn't mean they get promoted without merit, but does get them the spotlight needed to advance. I'm corporate though so do not judge any methods used to move up.[/quote] This times a million. I am a fairly conventionally attractive woman who is gay (a.k.a. a lipstick lesbian) but I saw this all.the.time. in biglaw. Most of the men didn't know/realize I was gay and would attempt to flirt and these women all took it and ran -- it wasn't for the male attention, it was for the access to power, good work, opportunities, etc. They got on cases and got projects because these men liked them. As a recipient of this, I absolutely took advantage of the pretty privilege until I moved onto greener, [b]less toxic pastures. [/b] I will say, most of the older women would act like OP if they moved an inch for you. These were so competitive and unhelpful because they were: (1) guarding their turf with all their might from being passed off to younger, cheaper, better looking collegues and (2) incredibly busy working mothers or (3) greedy AF. It is all just an example of the toxic nature of the work world. It's just full of terrible people.[/quote] The irony in being a toxic person yet claiming others made the environment toxic. LOL.[/quote] Listen, these work places are completely utterly toxic. They also pay well enough to move someone to a financial position where they are fundamentally comfortable. So, no, I have no qualms about using the inherent sexism in my favor while I could. All of these women were incredibly smart and talented. But here's the rub, so is everyone else. This isn't a meritocracy. Relationships, pedigree, and even just making someone who has the power to give you work and protect you comfortable is all that matters once you cross the threshold of being smart (spoiler -- 95 percent of the people hired can do this). We all can't remind people of themselves and get sponsored by the partners in the firm, PP. It's a disgusting dirty world. I'm just more honest about it. It's sexist, it's racist, its terrible, but I also made enough money to buy my home cash, build up a nest egg and transition to a job that is not completely toxic. And I thank god, I did all of this before I had kids or got "older" or whatever. It is what it is. [/quote]
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