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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's good you have a therapist appointment -- July is actually quite soon; it can be nearly impossible to find a therapist with open appointments these days, so that is a positive. With the therapist, discuss whether/when/how to tell your DH. And as another PP noted rightly: If it comes out, your DH and the AP's wife will absolutely assume you and your now FORMER AP planned this move somehow. That has to be something to cover with the therapist as you decide whether or how to tell DH.

Meanwhile: Distract yourself, OP. You vented here, and that's fine and useful and you seem open to the tough things some are saying, things you do need to hear. But you also need to stop ruminating for now or eventually you WILL break down and text him, etc. If you can take your kids somewhere ASAP for maybe the rest of the week, do it. You're an SAHM, can you go away somewhere? Visit someone? Or the whole family including DH goes away impromptu this coming weekend, somewhere very busy and distracting. Whatever it takes. There really can be value in distraction at times like this. It's not a permanent way to work through feelings but you sound so keyed up, you need some release. Exercise twice a day or whatever. And prep for that first therapist visit so you don't just blather out a million details but focus on WHY you had an affair and how to regain self-control.

Important aside:

The AP moving near you -- does that mean he has kids who would be in schools with your own kids? THAT is a huge, screaming, neon red sign, OP. If you have kids who would be in schools together, you will be running into each other very, very frequently. Same if your kids end up in the same scout troops or at the same community pools etc. if your neighborhoods are like that. But the school situation would be the unavoidable one. I would check right now whether his new house is in the same school pyramid as yours; they might not be in the same pyramid at all, but if they are? You need first to spend this summer dealing with your wild emotions, then get strategic about how not to see him or his wife if your kids are schoolmates. Maybe even classmates. That's a problem.[/quote]

I have seen a therapist every 6 months since suffering postpartum depression 5 years ago. That’s why my appointment is as soon as it is. My therapist does not know about this affair though. I avoided telling him. I know that was wrong.

Unfortunately, we can not take off and go anywhere. My husband’s job does not allow that. However, he will be off on Saturday & Sunday. I do think we should get out of the house.

I am very open to the harshness. I feel that it snaps me into reality.

No, our children will not go to the same school, thankfully. My children are in elementary school. His children are in middle & high school. [/quote]

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