Reply to Kids in NY bully their elderly bus monitor making her cry

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[quote=Anonymous]I was the first PP who said kids are vulnerable to group think at that age, and can easily become feral. PP who recounted the story of a teacher who was bullied reminded me of a teacher that my class had, and I almost wonder if he was the same one. He was a substitute, though. He was one of the nicest men, but he was crazy. He used to bring candy bars and raffle them off for kids who did the work he gave them, and the kids were so unappreciative and would call him old, say he found the candy bars under his couch, etc. I mean, picture a 70 year old, shuffling man trying to laugh "with" kids who are just mercilessly mocking him to his face. And occcasionally he'd try to assert his authority and it wasn't working. This was probably 8th grade, maybe about a year after the incident where I picked on the girl on the bus with some other kids. I remember being VERY uncomfortable when everyone mocked the teacher in a way that just didn't occur to me when we were teasing the girl on the bus. The teacher didn't cry, but I remember he once said "what's wrong with you kids? I am trying to be your friend, I'm trying to make this fun" and they were like "we don't want to be friends with your old ass." Cruel. Kids can be cruel. I'm not sure why I felt awful for this man but had less sympathy for the girl on the bus who we mocked. Both situations are things I remember from time to time, as I said. Like the PP, I just feel horrified looking back, at how people behaved. Turns out, another classmate of mine (one of the biggest mockers) actually became a teacher and looked this teacher up later in life. (He'd retired). My friend developed a friendship with the man until his death. Several of us from the school went to the funeral because my friend told us he'd died. I'd like to think this means that many people think about these incidents, where they contribute to someone else's grief (not just sadness, or frustration, but grief) as a child. I think it does serve as evidence that children are still forming their characters.

All this said, I genuinely think these kids crossed some lines that we wouldn't have crossed as kids and maybe there IS some parenting, in a general sense, at fault as much as the whole groupthink thing. But at the same time, it's hard to say. I know I don't like it, and I'll do everything I can to make sure my child grows up with character. And when you have everyone giving your kids everything, everyone saying to kids "oh, you don't have to share, we'll buy you both one" or not correcting a child for saying hurtful things, not stopping your preschooler from taking toys off of someone else, parents who think it's okay for their children to not invite certain kids to their parties, etc, well, we're feeding it. It may be natural and part of childhood, but I do think we're feeding it. [/quote]

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