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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I am so sorry this is happening to you and your DS. I would definitely approach the mom you know the best and ask specifically what happened. Say if the shoe was on the other foot and she was coming to you you would be truthful so that's all you  are asking of her.Don't be defensive, just act neutral, hear what she tells you and then end the convo.

I really hate cancel culture. There was a great documentary on this that Obama made on Netflix and now I can't find the name of it. Basically it is shaming by mob and that it takes a life of its own, reaches a point where it can no longer be controlled and for many there is nothing that will be good enough for redemption. Nothing. And that is wrong.

A child in my kid's MS was the subject of a vicious rumor that the child had sexually assaulted another student at a sleepover. The story spread like wildfire. The accuser told everyone and went to the school administration who said they couldn't discipline because it happened off campus off hours. So every single other student stopped talking to the accused. Shunned them. As a parent hearing the story the "facts" didn't make sense, at all. When questioning the story my kid and their friends were adamant this person was a rapist, this person needed to go to jail. All involved were 14. I asked my kid and their friends "well what would be enough of a punishment" and they said NEVER for the kid to have any friends again and for everyone to know.

Accused stopped coming to school. Their parents started calling other parents to try to get the info on what other kids were saying. Kid completed the rest of the year virtual and transferred to another school for high school.

Enter high school. Same accuser has gone on to accuse at least FIVE other kids of sexually assaulting her (including one story of another student holding a gun to her head). Her stories got more and more ridiculous. She got one other kid expelled because of it. It quickly became clear that the accused was fabricating rumors, extreme serious rumors, but she had already severely affected the lives of at least 2 other students. My kid realized the original rumor in MS was probably a lie all along and felt extreme guilt for buying into it and participating in the "cancelling". I explained, again, that these kind of situations where the shaming is so extreme, that even with zero evidence everyone piles on to make this person's life a living hell is how some people end of taking their own life. And next time what is there to stop the rumors from being about my own kid.

The accuser is now switching school because now the student body has realized she lies, and not little white lies, but ones that severely hurt people and she has some incredible mental health issues.

Please talk to your kid. Please ask the other mother. Just get all the information. Good luck.[/quote]

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