Reply to Husband of 10 years says he doesn’t want kids or a suburban life

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[quote=Anonymous]Idk OP, it’s impossible for anybody to predict what would happen, but I would have significant hesitation taking the road that some folks have suggested (having one kid and staying the city, for example). When I hear someone say “I don’t want the white picket fence/suburban life“, to me that sounds like a super lazy way of saying “I want something, different“, or more to the point, I don’t want what we have. And I know that must be incredibly painful to hear. But vaguely gesturing to your life and saying that he doesn’t want it, but he’ll have kids because he knows you want them is not only irresponsible, it’s unsustainable. You say that he’s got a short fuse now; having a baby and toddler around is a 24 seven job and irritates everybody. It’s only tolerable because it’s a choice that you’ve made. My kid annoys me all the time but I love her so much it would break my heart so the annoyance just settles to the bottom or fades away. It doesn’t come out in my behavior.

Time for a heart to heart and call this guy’s bluff. Ask him specifically about his dislike of suburbia and the whole lifestyle and what it is he needs changed. Tell him you’re not willing to have a kid with somebody and roll the dice that he won’t abandon you with a toddler. If he’s willing to have children, he needs to put in the effort to be specific about planning out a life that is sustainable for both of you. [/quote]

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