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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just a hunch...your son knows a lot more about your marital difficulties than you think he does. I got divorced a long time ago. At the time I demanded that we see a child psychiatrist to figure out how to tell our offspring. Shrink said kids usually know something bad is going on between their parents. He said when parents come in to see about a kid who is acting out, he asks about the state of their marriage and that marital conflict is the number one reason previously well-behaved kids act out. This is particularly common with boys.

So, it MAY be your son is depressed about the conflict at home and that caused him to act out. If he blames you, he MAY have done or said some really  ugly things about women. He's not going to share them with you.

He may also--it's rarer--think that if he becomes a problem his parents will try to stay together to solve it.

I don't think you can de-link your impending separation and your kid's issues--at least without further info Whatever you do, don't prolong your separation or telling your son about it. Not knowing is usually more painful and excruciating than knowing. When we asked advice, the psychiatrist said to tell our offspring ASAP and for the other parent to leave ASAP after that. Then the other parent should see our offspring again as soon as possible after that, so kids would know leaving home did not mean abandoning them.

I may be one hundred per cent offbase, but if you're consulting a pediatrican or therapist, tell them about the impending separation. [/quote]

OP here, agree with your hunch. I also shared with the pediatrician about our pending separation, agree that context is very important. We are modeling a toxic relationship and I’m the one initiating the separation and divorce; it might very well be linked. [/quote]

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