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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. I had a conversation with my dad back in December about me not feeling close to my dad as I think weshould. His response is that I am an adult now. I understand this, however he does not call or text to see how I am doing. I called him during the holidays and he wanted to know why I was calling(to wish him a Merry Christmas of course) and he it seemed like he just followed up with me out of courtesy and it took him a week to do so. 
My sibling is having a college send off/grad party once they return from the cruise and I am thinking about canceling my plans to attend(as I was scheduled to stay with them for a week due to me living a plane ride away). I don't want to be in a place when I'm only wanted or needed for others convenience or to make them look good. [/quote]

Radical acceptance OP...it sucks, it isn't fair and you can't change this so accept it.  He doesn't want a closer relationship and it may be because ir reminds him of his failed relationship with your mother or if your mom passed away of the loss.

That said, for future reference it helps when having these conversations to keep it positive with something like "I really enjoy spending time with you and I wish I could see you more rather than "I don't think we are as close as we SHOULD be." I know some will say this is insane, but words matter and the second feels more like a guilt trip. What we remember most is how people make us feel and if we constantly have negative emotions around someone then often we just don't want to be there. I am sure he knows there are many things he SHOULD have done that he didn't, but now that you are adults, if you are going to be close it's because you SHOULD be, it needs to be because you both truly enjoy being around eachother.[/quote]

Np. Pp you have a lot of wise words!  Thank you for helping me out.[/quote]

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