Reply to How Quickly Should Spouse Answer Your Calls/Texts?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you work, OP?

I'm trying to imagine a scenario where you would have the need for an emergency phone call more than maybe once a month, if even that?

Can you give examples of things you think are important?[/quote]

Practice is cancelled
Your mother went into a fib again, she went to the hospital… I’ll go I know youre busy
Joe has a fever, can you go get him I’m presenting at the conference today
Can you take Rob to surgery they changed the time, I have something that am… I can stay home the next 2 days with him, if not I need to get someone to cover today!
Out of surgery 
The cars is ready, Uber to it I won’t be picking you up

These are texts I got in the past 10 days from my H.
[/quote]

Wow, you have a truly crazy life. I'm sorry for all the health issues.

To answer the original question, when I was married and had young kids, I probably called DH once a month with a timely issue and texted maybe once a week with a "don't want to forget but no need to get back to me" issue. But I dealt with just about everything myself despite also working and having 2 SN kids. Fast forward to my divorce. Now I actually text and call exDH far more often because he stepped up to be present in the kids' lives when I left and we have basically 50-50 custody though 1 is in college and 1 is about to go to college so it's more just whenever/whatever works for each situation. So I keep him updated on things and he and I both send pics to each other for fun events and such.

Current partner and I text all day. We genuinely miss each other and text little naughty messages or love messages or whatever to each other. But we didn't raise kids together and our relationship is a lot more loving and close and healthy and generally not fraught with kid issues though he does love my kids and help with them. He's far more involved in doing fun things as a family rather than just zoning out and doing his own thing while I spend time with the kids. I almost never call him unless it's something really time sensitive -- maybe once a month or so. He generally answers texts within an hour, but he's not always with his phone while he's working so it depends.

It sounds like OP's husband prefers to work when he's working and interact when he's not. Maybe discuss how to organize that so it can work for both of you? I would be sad if I didn't hear from my partner all day every day because having a quick text exchange brightens up both of our work days. But i know we also both can't get back right away and it would be stressful if there were that expectation (I also have a position where I can't always be on my phone for periods of time). [/quote]

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