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General Parenting Discussion
Reply to "How can I help my friend who's overwhelmed by intensive UMC mom life?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Don’t blame is on the elderly parents because she is signing up for all this busy work. You don’t have to accept every challenge at school. She will be taken advantage of. And really, she “has” to plan vacations? And, she has a mother’s helper. Does she have cleaning people too? Maybe she feels safe venting to you or maybe she likes to keep busy to avoid other things in her life. All you can do is listen. And, I would ask why she believes she must do every activity?[/quote] Ok, the advice "Give up vacations and seeing your friends at school stuff so you can spend more time on eldercare and family administration tedium" is not going to make anyone happier. She's doing some things because she enjoys them. She's doing some things for the sake of others-- her children, her DH, and her parents. It makes sense to me. And yes, the "volunteering" expectation at private schools is quite different. This will get better when one of her parents passes away, and when the children grow older.[/quote] OP here. I get the point that eldercare is emotionally draining, though her elderly parents are in another country, and having to arrange things for them (via phone/email) is a fairly recent development, so it's definitely not the bulk of the stressors. She spends most of her time venting about the kid/school related stuff. [/quote] So she doesn't have any family support? That alone can be draining. [/quote]
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