Reply to When to tell children about a suicide in the family

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I really don't understand why boomers (my parents) thought that telling big secrets to teenagers was a good idea. My parents did it to me, my husband's parents did it to him. It made both of us distrust them. Keeping secrets and telling lies for over a decade is unnecessary. A teen also doesn't have the life experience to understand why people are embarrassed and therefore lie. They just feel betrayed. [/quote]

This is my feeling about generational secrecy, as well. What good comes of this? If we lived intergenerationally, the family members would learn organically. [/quote]

THIS.

OP, I also lost my mom to suicide as a child but in my case didn’t find out until I was in my mid 20’s. My dad’s family kept me from her family (once spanking me for finding out that I called my aunt) in order to ensure I didn’t know. That caused me much more trauma than the suicide (my mom waited until I was with my dad for the summer as they were divorced).

In my case, I have a nonexistent relationship with my dad’s wife for her complicity in keeping the secret.

My children learned when they asked questions when they were about 5 and 6. It was never a secret with them. I assured them that I watch my mental health and I won’t leave them and they never need worry about losing me to suicide. [/quote]

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