Reply to “She is going to marry rich”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have only ever heard this said about women who behave in ways that make it clear that "marrying well" is their goal.

So women who keep themselves up very well with very good hygiene and dressing in a way that is appealing and eye catching without being overly trendy or overtly sexy. Often outgoing personalities with really strong social skills -- good at drawing people out, asking questions, making people feel good about themselves. But also status conscious. So they aren't just super nice and friendly, they also know the score and focus their energy and attention on activities and opportunities that will bring them into contact with higher status people. So they don't volunteer at a soup kitchen, but the volunteer for an organization that holds an annual gala to raise money for the soup kitchen. They might major in business (but they'll have a marketing emphasis, not finance) which will put them in contact with ambitious people who value financial success. In college, they are likely to rush a sorority and will be drawn to certain sororities that tend to have more people from wealthy backgrounds or are closely associated with frats with this profile. And so on.

Like I don't think people assign this to someone for their inherent qualities. Being really beautiful or really smart (or not as pretty, or not as smart) is not the qualifier. It's women who seem to be crafting lives to but themselves in a position to marry someone well off.

Also, the women I knew like this in my 20s had no problem cutting a guy loose if he didn't seem ambitious enough or if she was worried about his earning potential. I went to a very high ranked law school and a friend of mine dumped our classmate because, she told me, she could tell he wasn't partnership material and she didn't want to to be carrying them financially after he burned out at a BigLaw job and wanted to go work for the government or in-house for like 200k/yr. She said it matter of fact, like this was a very normal concern. And to her it was. She wanted to marry someone who would afford her a certain lifestyle and opportunities (including the opportunity to SAHM and just do volunteer work if she wanted) and she made dating choices based on that. It's a specific outlook.

She did in fact marry rich and her DH is now a partner at a very profitable NYC firm and she no longer works but is on the board of a couple arts organizations.[/quote]

damn, this is it.

you said it perfectly girlfriend.[/quote]

This post is from months ago but so damn spot on I had to comment. Also went to a top law school and saw this phenomenon up close. The women never were as blunt as your friend, but I heard things like he’s not ambitious enough, not hard working enough, not generous enough, eventually wants a pre nup. These women also worked hard to put themselves in proximity to the finance guys at the b school and [b]10-15 years later, married them, live in multi million dollar homes, have lavish vacations, and full time day and night nannies. [/b]

I can’t even say they were totally wrong. I have a few other friends who didn’t think much of a man’s career or work ethic while dating. They now make subtle complaints about having a husband who doesn’t make much, has little drive, had no interest in business school etc. They love their husbands but have regret that they are carrying so much of the financial load. 
[/quote]

That’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Those high-earning, hustling MBA husbands tend to be emotionally unavailable, addicted to the next challenge/thrill and work long hours. The traits that got them where they are professionally are not conducive to long-term monogamous marriage & childrearing. [/quote]

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