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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was sexually abused by my stepfather. He never repented and my mother (who knew) prefers to think of it as "ancient history."

I am not religious, but I made a conscious decision in my 20s to forgive him and her. It was more like releasing them from my mind and my heart, because holding onto the memory and the pain was harming only me.

I never said anything to them. For me, the forgiveness was about me, not them.[/quote]

I'm in the same situation only I feel angry still at my mom who got a free pass because I told her about it and she did nothing about it and doesn't acknowledge her wrong doing. Try as I might, I can't forgive (I have tired for decades) to forgive anyone who doesn't even acknowledge any wrong doing on their part. It in fact makes me much more angry. If she would admit fault and her part I could move on much easier. [/quote]

So sorry for your experience. That places you in a very tough situation in terms of finding forgiveness for the people who caused you great harm.

I sometimes wonder about Jesus teaching to forgive those who ask for forgiveness an infinite number of times. But what about in your type of situation where the wrong doers show no remorse or seeking of forgiveness for their actions?

I hope that you are able find whatever approach helps you to find forgiveness for your mother and step father. It may be that more creative forms of therapy could help. For example, art or music therapy that allows you to both express your pain and create new inner spaces where healing and forgiveness could grow slowly over time.

If you are not religious, perhaps meditation and allowing your pain/ anger/ awful Memories to arise but then float away. For example, sometimes I sit quietly and let painful thoughts come up and then place them in balloons or boats and allow them to float away.

Your inner self is puke know what is best for healing your terrible childhood experience.

Wishing you peace, grace and eventually forgiving mercies.
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