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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom started going downhill around 80 but it coincided with Covid and she lives on the west coast so it took a while for me to really understand she could no longer live in her own…I also was unable to convince my brother until I showed him that she had essentially been scammed out of 200k. It was hard but I convinced her to move near me and took charge of her home l, financial affairs etc. she now hates me for it but she’s clearly experiencing decline. I’m flattened like a pancake between work kids and her and she’s so self centered (always has been) ; it’s like I don’t even exist except to tend to her needs and imagined ailments. It’s unpleasant and will only get worse…But at least I can keep an eye on things. Funny thing is that my stepsister took care of her mom with dementia and my mom used to say “I’d never do that to you, just stick me in a home and live your life.” Now she’s nearby, calls 4 -5 times a day, complains if I’m not there etc.

I told dh I want to explore continuing care communities so we won’t burden our kids.[/quote]

Wow on the scam! What kind?[/quote]

Not the person you are responding to, but my own mother is bleeding money to users that luckily she has. One sibling convinced her not to get a dementia evaluation and now has her funding all sorts of things. You can't prove she is being taken advantage of when her Golden Child convinced her not to get an evaluation. Often those with dementia have no awareness they have it. A cousin has crawled out of the woodwork sharing sob stories and mom is funding her. GC is upset about this because she wants to be the only one profiting. She has turned on my brother and I and threatens to disown us which is fine, we don't want her money, but apparently she meets with her lawyer regularly to just vent at about $400 an hour. She thinks her accountant is her best friend and bleeds an obscene amount of money going for chit chats. The people she funds are the people she now trusts and those of us who don't want her money and used to try to protect her are the enemy. I am sure my father who actually earned the money is rolling around in his grave, but thank goodness she can afford to purchase these expensive relationships which seem to bring her happiness. At this point we have no leverage at all because she redid POA, and everything possible to shut us down. She has already spend more than 200,000 funding our sibling and than doesn't include all her other expenditures. The thing is she has always used money to manipulate, but it is sad because she doesn't understand she is the one being manipulate these days.[/quote]

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