Reply to Did you fall in love with your affair partner?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There are a lot of reasons people cheat. Having an affair can mean many different things and fulfill many different needs for many different people. It's not a one-size-fits-all scenario. There are people who cheat only for the sex, there are people who cheat only in the emotional sense, there are people who truly fall in love with their affair partner but are unwilling to leave their spouse, and there are people who want something the AP can offer them (sex, companionship, someone who makes them feel good about themselves, etc.) but that person is only there to fulfill a certain need on the side, and there are people who fall in love with their AP and end up leaving marriages to be together.

The question of whether that person will cheat is again is not one-dimensional either. Someone who is only cheating for sex is more likely to cheat again. So is someone who is not having a particular need met in their marriage and they can have it satisfied elsewhere. Someone who fell in love with their AP and left their marriage for her/him, may never cheat again.  Clearly there are all kinds of people in all kinds of scenarios.[/quote]

This is sensible commentary that everyone should read closely.

To answer OP's question, yes, I did love my AP but I also loved (at the time and now) my wife.  I don't know if I would have STAYED in love with AP, which is important.  I cheated because I had built up resentment that I wasn't even aware of.  I learned from that and have never cheated again (and that was over 20 years ago).[/quote]

What was your resentment about? How did you get through it?[/quote]

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