Reply to Are posters here really this spineless, or just bidding for attention on DCUM?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There have been so many Family Relationships posts lately where the central problem could be solved within about 20 seconds if the OP (or his or her spouse) were to simply open his or her mouth and speak words. As in, “No, a visit on these dates will not work for us, but we’d be glad to host you on X or Y dates.” Or, “We cannot also host Sheila, but if she would like to visit the area, there is a Sheraton about five minutes away.” Or, “If you mention my daughter’s weight again, I will ask you to leave my home. I’m never discussing her weight with you.”

Are people really this spineless? Do they really prioritize their (seemingly awful) parents over themselves, their children, and their spouses? What gives, doormats of DCUM? Because I’m starting to think that there aren’t actually that many spineless ninnies in the world, who can’t string two sentences together to set basic boundaries. I’m starting to think you just post and exaggerate for attention on DCUM. And I don’t know which scenario is more pathetic. [/quote]

Unfortunately in such families, usually the people pleasers are raised from birth to take on that role. They don’t know any better until they grow up and can observe or learn about other family dynamics for themselves.  Even then, it’s a struggle to break the mold.  When you set a boundary, it upsets people because it upsets the natural order that’s been in their family, possibly for generations.

I wonder if the kids were always punished, maybe even physically hit, for talking back to the parents or never offered a choice in anything.  [/quote]

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