Reply to Are posters here really this spineless, or just bidding for attention on DCUM?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ex. I told my mother that it was making people uncomfortable that she was cursing and grumbling about the fact that my guest (long story why mother was also there- not her home, not my home!) put recycling on top of the empty egg cartons which were apparently not for recycling and she didn’t speak to me for months! [/quote]

OK, an unreasonable, cursing crazy lady didn’t speak to you for months. Win![/quote]

Not the poster you are responding to, but have posted before. The person gave a great example of the dysfunction many of us faced. You walk on eggshells for years or decades and in some families you have to be ready for them to shun you if you set that boundary. I was not emotionally ready to go there for a long time. I had to go along to get along. I am the one who had enough stress it was the much better option, but I had to be ready to be the black sheep/scapegoat. It was tough, but now with enough distance I see it had to happen and how crazy it all has been. I also see that anyone who joins them in thinking I am the villain is just as nutty, but I am at peace with it. People can think whatever they want and say whatever they want. I am finally free of worrying about that because I am literally trying to just survive one stressor after another. Even if I had kept people pleasing I would still not have support from them with my own life stressors. They just aren't capable of emotional strength and support. So sadly, if anything I have just lost emotional drains. I wish them well. We are still in touch, but not much and we stick to safe topics. Much more peaceful than the constant dramas.

Some books I have found really helpful are [i]Adult Children of Emotionally immature Adults[/i] and [i]Drama Free[/i] (something about setting boundaries in families). [/quote]

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