Reply to You don’t get to police screen time of other people’s children

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You say she “randomly” decides, OP.  I think it’s time to sit down with your SIL and understand her (and your) expectations for screen time and reach a compromise.  She shouldn’t be grabbing tablets out of kids hands and hiding them but at the same time you have to [b]respect the values of people you’re vacationing with[/b] and maybe can agree that everyone does no screens for certain times or activities.[/quote]

I'm curious about the bolded.  "Respecting" SIL's values would mean not forcing her kids to be on phones.

If I want to give my kids a popsicle and somebody I am vacationing with doesn't want their kids to have one, do I not give the popsicles to my own?
If I want to let my kids stay up until 10:00 and somebody I am vacationing with wants their kids to go to bed at 8:00, do I have to send my kids to bed?[/quote]

I think OP needs to understand why SIL wanted screens to be away.  The answers can be nuanced and the compromise depends on the reasonings behind them.  If SIL’s approach to screen time is “I wanted your kid to play with (aka babysit) my kid while I went to the lake” you ignore that and let your kid say know/have their phone as usual.  If SIL thinks mealtime is sacrosanct family time and takes her kids phones away at 3PM to ensure they’re engaged at dinner, you respect the value of uninterrupted conversation at dinner and ask your kids to put their phones in their rooms for dinner.

Same with the popsicles and bedtimes.  Cousins are struggling with weight/allergies/sugar addictions?  Maybe don’t give your kids popsicles the other kids aren’t allowed to have in front of them — either share a different treat all the kids can have or give your kids their popsicles when it’s just your family hanging out.  Cousins are morning people and your kids are night owls?  Ensure everyone staying up late is quiet starting at the earlier bedtime but also ensure that the kids who get up earlier are quiet/out of the house until the later risers are up.

Basically sharing space/vacation means sometimes you can’t have exactly the same house rules you have at home, and that goes for OP and her SIL.  (Especially the SIL based on OP’s post but tbf we don’t know what OP does that annoys SIL, which is why they need to talk about it and understand why they both want the rules they do.)[/quote]

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