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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So they told you the parameters of the job at the beginning and you agreed to them and now you are seeking to significantly alter the terms?  You can certainly do this but I would expect them to be irritated with you and go with someone else unless you are the only person that can do what you do.  [/quote]

Op here. At the outset, as in, when I applied for the job back in November 2022, the parameters would have worked. In the subsequent 7 months and after learning more about the role and now that some things have changed with my family, I’ve realized the move won’t work for my family but I’m still interested in the job.[/quote]

NP here who has been a hiring manager.  The professional and respectable thing would be to let the potential employer know when your wife's work situation changed.  You inform them at that time that your spouse converted from fully remote to hybrid and you are no longer available to relocate, so you are only available for their position if your position can be fully remote.

But, you didn't do that, you let them continue to waste time interviewing and/or wooing you, potentially excluding other qualified candidates, only to drop the other shoe on them after they make an offer.  While this might work as a bargaining chip for some folks who are desperate for a qualified candidate or for positions where you have some very unique and hard to duplicate skills, experience or qualifications, but otherwise, you've taken a very terrible approach.  With me and my nationwide corporation, you would be kindly excused from the pool and you would be blacklisted from future consideration for positions.  There are enough folks in the talent pool that in the vast majority of cases, we don't need to consider candidates like you.[/quote]

Op here. You invented a lot of that context and that’s not how it unfolded. The job change for DW came only after the final interview-in fact, it came up only in the last week. My last interview with the company was at the end of March.

Regardless, interviews are interviews. I don’t really understand the bitterness. I could decline the offer for any of a thousand  reasons. Interviewing takes up my time as well-I didn’t go into it with bad intentions. [/quote]

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