Reply to New single mommy...complex situation. Need advice.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I may have a difficult relationship with her father, but it's possible that she will see him in a totally different light. That said, I can't ignore the fact that her healthy development also hinges on my emotional well-being, and so far his interactions with me haven't contributed to that area in a positive way. There's a smart solution here somewhere. Hopefully we'll work our way there.[/quote]

OP, who is "we"? You can't mean your baby daddy, who by your account did not treat you well and who confines fathering to holding a sleeping baby. What financial support has he offered? Have you met his family? Have they met the baby? In over 2 months what relationships have he, his family or friends created with your daughter? Did they throw a shower? Offer you help with child care or meals? I'm guessing no. She may see him in a different light, only if he acts differently. You did your job by not cutting him out, don't bad mouth him and move on.

Stop trying to make this something it is not. In a fantasy of trying to make things better with a hypothetical version of baby daddy not the one he keeps showing you in reality, you may make things drastically and permanently worse in ways you can't fully understand now. THAT is what you should be talking about in therapy. Stop trying to make a relationship happen between them, it has to come from him. Work through your issues about not providing her with a dad and move on. You can save time by going back to the same therapist who saw him bail rather than commit and grow. [/quote]

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