Reply to New single mommy...complex situation. Need advice.

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[quote=Anonymous]OP,
I wouldn't be naive. I would preserve as much autonomy and control over your situation as I could. If he wants to have more of an emotional relationship with her later he can. Don't say anything to him, let him bring it up. Co-parenting with someone who is not a strong and reliable parent is a special kind of hell. Even now, his occasional visits are turning your attention from enjoying your baby fully. Giving the person you described more control, and a right to support from you is lunacy. If he wants more responsibility let him indicate and earn it with his actions. You need to let go of your fantasies and hanging on to him in a way that is not wise or warranted by his behavior. If and when he changes, you will see it. Do not open this Pandora's Box. Consult a few lawyers and go from there. The relationship that he establishes of his own initiative is out of your control, stop focusing on it. Do what you legally need to do to keep your baby's life non-chaotic and as financially stable as possible. Keep your focus on being hte best mom you can be and that includes letting go of the fantasy and protecting your child by protecting yourself. You didn't have a child with a stable loving partner and this guy is never going to be that. Be a responsible and prudent single mom.[/quote]

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