Reply to Mean girl coworkers are literally killing me! Professional females need your advice

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[quote=Anonymous]I worked in an environment like that, only I was not the targeted one, at least at first. My colleague was, though, and I felt bad for her and stood up for her. Then I was the targeted one. I want to say first that it’s possible that some of these women like you fine and are “going along to get along” and are behaving like that because they don’t want to be the object of the ringleader’s scorn. That’s no excuse, but may help you feel better. 
My colleague they didn’t like handled it brilliantly. She would smile politely and go Into her office and close the door. She didn’t ask for anything, she didn’t inquire about anyone’s personal life, she didn’t reveal a thing about her personal life, even the fact that she had gotten married one weekend (!). Not only did she not invite those mean girls, she didn’t even tell them she had a boyfriend. She literally treated them as irrelevant office mates. She put her head down, worked hard, did her thing, and though I’m sure it hurt, she never let on. I think her quiet but respectful rejection of them in turn was powerful. She kept her social life outside of her work, went out with her friends, and she stayed physically active. She was part of a community softball league, if I recall correctly. 
One day she just announced that she had gotten another job. When she left, no one knew she was looking to go, or pregnant, either! I eventually left too and caught up with that coworker a year or so later. We’re now friendly. She’s doing great, has a good new job and is enjoying her toddler. Those mean girls are totally irrelevant to her life. She would tell you they were irrelevant then, too, though it felt rotten to be treated like a pariah. She looks back and judges them harshly but doesn’t personalize it or think there is anything wrong with her. She thinks they’re jealous and unhappy people with small lives and small minds. So my advice is to get yourself in a better environment and realize that someday you will put them in the irrelevant category and judge them instead of wishing they were nice or polite or helpful to you. Your preference should be as little interaction as possible. You will be glad when you go that you never have to talk to them again. For now, act like my coworker. [/quote]

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