Reply to Millennials who are mean.

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Millennials who are mean. "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How old are the grandkids? I know when our kids were tiny (and very close together in age, plus two full time jobs) we were incredibly worn out and not as attentive to extended family as usual (in terms of asking about their lives etc). We were just trying to keep our heads above water. However, we certainly weren’t critical etc.

Will they let you babysit? That could be a win-win.

I don’t know what to say about the rudeness/criticism- is this new or have they always been this way?! Can you provide a specific example of the things said?

[/quote]

A specific example would be we are noisy when we stir our coffee, my husband still works (high functioning) and our son calls him  a moron.  I don’t know how to hold a baby.  The grandkids are still young. They are ages one, two, four and seven. The last time we visited one of them for their child’s first birthday, they gave us chores to do at their house.  Pressure wash the outside, put together things. When they came home, they complained about the work.

One of our kids went to school on a full scholarship. He is hyper independent, and we are extremely proud of him and tell him all the time. Now he throws it back in our face. Really didn’t see this coming.

Honestly, we just want to see our grandkids

I think they were definitely spoiled, but I refuse to blame myself for their behavior.
[/quote]

This is very confusing.

Your son called your husband a moron? He used that word? That is not acceptable and I wouldn't spend time with someone who spoke to me that way.

The thing about making noise when you stir your coffee sounds like half a story. Families do sometimes get annoyed with each other over weird little things, especially when visiting each other. Did one of your kids yell at you for stirring your coffee too loudly? What was the context?

What is the context of them being upset that you didn't know how to hold a baby? It is normal for new parents to be pretty cautious about who they hand the baby too and concerned about the baby being held properly. One reason they are like this is that they have just been lectured 47 times by every nurse at the hospital for the same thing. Also they are protective. So were they actually mad at you for not knowing how to hold the baby or did they just keep reminding you how to do it, or what? This is a whole thing, how to hold an infant. You can't take it too personally.

Also need more info on these chores for the birthday. Under what circumstances did you come for the birthday, whose idea was it to have a party, etc. Obviously assigning you to power wash their house sounds insane, as does yelling at you for doing it wrong. But your other comments make me think maybe that's not exactly how it went?

The thing about the scholarship and him "throwing it" in your face is interesting. In what context? Is he saying he didn't feel like you supported him, or that wanted/needed financial support at another time but didn't get it because of the scholarship? Trying to understand. I'm sure him getting that scholarship was very helpful to the family. I wonder if he feels resentful that other siblings received more financial support as a result. Not taking his side, just trying to understand. It's na interesting point.

Your last comment is, even you must admit, ridiculous. You believe they were spoiled but it wasn't you? I'll be honest, I don't think they sound spoiled -- all this stuff sounds like some combination of miscommunication, them being demanding in stressful circumstances (newborn, kid's first birthday, financial issues), and you being a little sensitive.

Unless they actually called you husband a moron. If they did that, I'd be pissed about it. But did they? Or did on of them just get exasperated with y IIIour husband about something else and maybe speak to him in a condescending way, and you thought to yourself "they are talking to him like he's a moron!" [/quote]

These are all good things to consider, op[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics