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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How old are the grandkids? I know when our kids were tiny (and very close together in age, plus two full time jobs) we were incredibly worn out and not as attentive to extended family as usual (in terms of asking about their lives etc). We were just trying to keep our heads above water. However, we certainly weren’t critical etc.

Will they let you babysit? That could be a win-win.

I don’t know what to say about the rudeness/criticism- is this new or have they always been this way?! Can you provide a specific example of the things said?

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A specific example would be we are noisy when we stir our coffee, my husband still works (high functioning) and our son calls him  a moron.  I don’t know how to hold a baby.  The grandkids are still young. They are ages one, two, four and seven. The last time we visited one of them for their child’s first birthday, they gave us chores to do at their house.  Pressure wash the outside, put together things. When they came home, they complained about the work.

One of our kids went to school on a full scholarship. He is hyper independent, and we are extremely proud of him and tell him all the time. Now he throws it back in our face. Really didn’t see this coming.

Honestly, we just want to see our grandkids

I think they were definitely spoiled, but I refuse to blame myself for their behavior.
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What do you mean when you say DH is "high functioning"?

The criticism about stirring your coffee is crazy. So is requesting you to power wash the house.

What is your ethnicity, if you don't mind me asking? [/quote]

We are white middle class people. By high functioning I mean he is a contractor at the top of his game earning the most he has ever made in his career.

Here is something that I find interesting.
One of our friends is between the ages of our kids and us, and [b]he observed that he felt angry and sad when he saw his parents aging[/b]. It seems like an odd thing to say, but it makes sense to me. Of course we show physical signs of aging and they don’t like to see it.  [b]They are consumed with the pressure of career and family and they take it out on us.[/b]  And it’s not to say that they want anything from us. It’s just an odd dynamic that I think may have some merit.[/quote]

These two points stuck out to me. I think you’re on to something here - maybe they text to fear and stress with anger?

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