Reply to Think I need a therapist. And maybe a lawyer..

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm confused, you don't seem to say he has a history of substance abuse. And last night behaved in a way that seemed very out of character but you are immediately leaping to the assumption he bears full responsibility for it even though it is clear he's on a medication that interacts with alcohol?

And then, unrelatedly, you say you think you have been unhappy for a long time and even though he We get along fine and co-parent well and he

[quote]does more than his fair share around the house and with the kids (more than me on balance probably). But there isn’t much love left and he tends to get very argumentative when he drinks (though not like last night which was the first time the kids had to see him this drunk). We don’t have much in common either and when we do things together it’s mostly with the kids. [/quote]

Listen, it sounds like he was a jerk last night and it also sounds like he had a bad interaction with medication last night and if he's apologetic and this has never happened before then it seems like a non issue. If your marriage was otherwise happy you'd probably feel bad for him that he embarrassed himself like that and was suffering today. But since you are in a not that happy marriage you're using this as like, the incident that pushed you over the edge towards divorce.

Divorce if you're unhappy. And make sure he works out what caused this incident so he doesn't repeat it. But don't use an isolated incident where he had a reaction to a medication to label him an addict to justify a divorce to someone who is apparently a good dad and pretty good partner on the home front. That is messed up and will be bad for your kids, and unnecessarily cruel to him. It is ok to divorce because you're unhappy and not in love, you don't need to have some awful narrative to back it up. He's human, you're human, your kids are human, try not to forget that as you navigate this. [/quote]

This.

OP, you are all over the place. You are not a good communicator.

If you are going to leave, see a therapist and figure out how to communicate better. You seem to be heading towards an unnecessarily angry divorce.[/quote]

Yes, I’m a bit all over the place today as I’m shaken. And my post was asking for therapist recommendations so…[/quote]

OP - some people here are being very cruel and I’m sorry and hope you are able to read past those posts quickly to those offering empathy and measured advice.

As to your question about whether to say something to your friend that he called, if it were me, I’d probably say something but (as I’m sure you are) I’d probably be really embarrassed and make up some sort of way to smooth it over quickly and without more drama.

Good luck with everything on your plate right now. I agree with a previous poster that said you don’t have to make any decisions right now. Be there for your kids and ignore your husband (let him feel guilty, who cares) until you are beyond the immediate emotions and ready to have a talk with him about what is next. And if you don’t have a close friend that you are comfortable talking to, call a therapist. I’ve found that most are doing virtual appointments these days, so it should be pretty easy to book one. Beyond recommendations here, you could always ask your GP or GYN for a referral to start. [/quote]

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