Reply to Telling an older child about conception using donor egg

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mother had a deep dark secret that caused her a lot of pain. She was an illegitimate child at a time when that was truly a very bad thing in the conservative area where she grew up and lived. 
She waited until we were grown and settled in our lives she told us her secret. It pained her more than it pained us. 
So after a brutal years long struggle with infertility when my babies were born I was just done. They were sickly, they needed round the clock care. I just don’t want to answer any more intrusive questions that anyone who has done infertility treatments has faced. The years went by in a blur and I thought I would tell them when they finished college. 
But mere months before that their father was struck by a car and died on the scene. I didn’t want to add to their grief with a big revelation. 
As for those people who are so sad about their donor status— people can always find something to complain about and there will always be therapists ready to fan the flames. 
Losing your father at age 21 — that is something to be sad about. [/quote]

So sorry for your loss, PP.  In your situation, I can see why it could all just be kept secret.[/quote]

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