Reply to Vent- Sibling always ruins mother's day

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm confused. The parents were deeply involved and seemingly invested everything in getting the help the sibling needed. The guidance has changed since then. But they were listening to experts and seemingly doing everything they could. How could you ever call them bad parents? You must never have had a difficult child. How can people do more than this? What would you have done differently? If you say I would have medicated my child, well no, you probably wouldn't have when people who are supposed to be experts were saying you shouldn't, and parents have a (rightfully) high bar for putting their child on medication.[/quote]

What people are reacting to is NOT that the sibling thinks they should have been on medication. Maybe they should have, maybe they shouldn't have, time were different, this is an internet posting, whatever....

What's getting a reaction is how much the OP wants to complain about her sister, make sure OP is seen as the good one, and then take on her mom's battles about how much her sibling's truth hurt. It's a very emmeshed family with triangulation and a scapegoat/golden child. OP can help break this dynamic and should.

I also see no proof here that the parents were deeply involved and interested in getting the sibling help. Seems like they were more interested in labeling the sibling as BAD and making sure everyone else in the family agreed. [/quote]

OP describes deep involvement, which, at the time may have been the best you could do:
My sibling lived a cushy existence with two incredibly involved parents who cared deeply about them. Parents paid for college, grad school, new cars, and bought them their first house cash
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