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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Your husband should do what my friend does with her older and irresponsible sister and her enabling sibling:

1. Pay specific bills you are OK with paying, like medical bills, water, electricity or groceries. Not the cable or anything you want her to drop or reduce.

2. Tell the siblings that you refuse to fund a ridiculous lifestyle when you need to save for your own family. They can do what they want, but you're not going to send a blank check for frivolous spending.

It's a win-win, because that way your husband still helps his mother; but he gets to help only on the critical stuff without enabling her; and he preserves his wealth for his own nuclear family.

Otherwise she's going to bleed you all dry, and live to a 110.

[/quote]

This. And for the people saying it's enabling - yes it is, but you also make sure that certain necessities are covered - like utilities and food. It's more for your own conscience than to make real change. People with family like this know that they are not going to change.

But then when the time comes and you look back, you can say to yourself "Despite all the drama and guilt trips and gaslighting, I made sure their lights stayed on and they had enough to eat." Sometimes that's the best you can do.[/quote]

Entitled grandma has enough to keep the lights on and food in her fridge. She just wants champagne and caviar when she wants it. [/quote]

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