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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In a marriage, you need to have intimacy outside the bedroom, "foreplay" outside the bedroom, through the week, to have good sex.

Outside of a marriage or non-longterm relationship you don't, because in that case sex can be easy and fun, with all the newness and lust hormones happening. But those fade and then you start building up tiny resentments here and there over the years, and stop complimenting each other and making each other feel desired and then sex gets tough.

I mean, uh, I'm only guessing. I'm in a perfectly healthy, happy, sex-filled marriage myself. Right? Right?

(Actually we are in the exact opposite of that and finally getting some help for it and addressing it).[/quote]

Very funny!  Who took the first step in initiating the "foreplay" outside the bedroom?  Did it seem forced at first?  
Did you get counseling?  I think my wife would flip if I suggested that.  I assume counseling for this doesn't work if one partner isn't willing to go to counseling?

Good luck[/quote]

What I meant by foreplay was touching, kissing, a bit of flirting, just connecting. That fell off after a few years of marriage as we committed to careers and outside interests, then throw in kids and it just died. We are in counseling and yes, I imagine when (if) we get there it will be forced at first but we have to start somewhere. Luckily we were both willing to go to counseling. And we are both willing to talk about things. But we are not back to intimacy yet. [/quote]

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