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[quote=Anonymous]Opposite of the person who focused on her looks, I focused on my earning potential. This had a double purpose. If I didn’t meet a partner, I knew I could support myself with the lifestyle I wanted. If I did meet a partner, I could focus on his personality, ability to be a good partner and parent, and his relationship with his family. I knew I didn’t need him to support us or be a breadwinner.

I have a great husband who sometimes jokes that he’s the “wife” because of the household and social things he takes care of for us. When I met him, he was defending his PhD. He was unemployed and then a post doc for many years while we dated and got married. He earns 40% of our income now, but that was never part of the plan. Our friend who introduced us said “I’m not sure if he’ll ever hold a lucrative job or even the same job for very long, but I promise you’ll have a fun life full of love. She was right.

I think I made my own luck by creating the life I wanted for myself and trusting that the type of people who I would attract would fit into that vision. 
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