Reply to Spouses of big law partners/lawyers

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Spouses of big law partners/lawyers"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How do you continue to be supportive and not resentful of your spouses work hours? My DH has been in law for the entire time that I have known him. I obviously knew what the gig was before we got married and agreed to it.  But over the years I feel like I have become more resentful of how many hours he works and the stress that comes with the job.  He has moved up from staff attorney to counsel to partner in the past 12 years and the work hasn't lessened although the comp has gone up.

We have young children (under the age of 8) and I do the majority of the work. I also work fulltime in a flexible 40 hour a week job.  I do all of the pick ups and drop offs, sports practices, doctors appointments, school related things.  When he has downtime he helps where he can around the house, with the kids, church stuff, etc but when he is busy I know it will inevitably be a 6am-10pm sort of day for him and I will need to take care of everything else.

For those of you have raised kids and been there/done that with spouses in big law how did you handle it?  Did you just get used to it over the years?  I want to be less resentful and I know that he is doing this to provide a comfortable life for ourselves and our kids but it just gets to be a lot day in and day out. [/quote]

This was my moms life when I was growing up. The answer is that she didn’t get over the resentment and my parents had a somewhat miserable marriage until recently when they both retired. My mom has always worked super hard in terms of raising us as kids and at her own full time (but more and far less high paying) flexible career. our lifestyle (big family, private schools etc.) would not have been possible without my dads financial success.

Looking back, I think my mom could have outsourced some things to make things easier for herself- like a full time housekeeper to cook and do laundry and tidy up. We had a cleaning lady who came twice a week and just cleaned the house (no laundry), but otherwise no help- not a nanny or babysitters or any other help. My advice to you is outsource as much as you can to lessen the burden on yourself, since you can afford to. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics