Reply to For those who struggle with ILs, do you feel guilty?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yep. A lot of guilt. Often I wonder why I just can't put my own feelings aside and let them have their own way. So many times it's either they are happy or I am. For instance, they want every Christmas. I guess I could just go and be a passive participant in their Christmases every year and hope that one day I can host or plan Christmas for my kids. And never see my own family of origin on Christmas either.

Same with mothers day. I think this year I'm going to let DH travel down to his mom's house and I will celebrate with my kids. She won't be happy, but I think it's a good compromise. After all, it's mothers day, not grandmothers day, so the kids should spend it with me. [/quote]

i have this too - ILs want to do every christmas and my parents dont get along with them/ want to stay together (and dont live nearby so have to travel to us) so my parents just never get christmas.[/quote]

That's your fault. Adults make difficult decisions.[/quote]

+1000

Why can’t you just tell your in-laws no for Christmas? You really can, you know. It’s okay to ONLY spend Christmas with your side. It’s also okay to ONLY spend Christmas with just your nuclear family. Adults make these decisions all the time. It’s really fun being an adult who gets to decide how to arrange the special and limited holidays with minor children. [/quote]

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