Reply to Phrase to get strangers to stop admonishing autistic child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why were you so focused on what they were saying and doing and not getting your daughter out of there? If you know only a cookie is going to save the day and there were no more cookies you needed to leave ASAP and not stand and listen to all the comments and feedback. Seems like you waited around hoping cookies would magically reappear given all the comments you heard. It sucks, my kid has ADHD and melts down inappropriately at times too, but I've never stood there getting feedback. If someone had anything to say about it I wouldn't even know.[/quote]

This is OP.  I’m sorry my replies are quoting the relevant text. I didn’t realize there’s a difference in reply and quote now.

Hahaha no, I wasn’t standing around waiting for a cookie! But that makes me chuckle. She was screaming and flailing on the ground. I was trying to pick her up, but she’s over 50 pounds and didn’t want to leave, so I only got a few feet before I needed to put her down and readjust. She’s not easy to carry when she’s flailing like that. And I knew had to get across a parking lot, where I would need to put her down to unlock my car, and at that point she would run away, across a busy parking lot.

I decided it was safer to try to get her a bit calmer a few feet away from the cookie truck before I tried to carry her through the parking lot.

THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT A PARENT WITH A CHILD HAVING A MELTDOWN HAS TO CALCULATE. Meanwhile the other women were lecturing her and taunting her about ice cream, which was escalating things.[/quote]

Are you saying people followed you away from the truck to keep admonishing you? It sounded like you stayed holding up the line. You don't need to get all the way to the car but just away from the crowd as much as possible. Just get her to a safe spot and wait for her to calm down. The plan to get her to the car and then knowing she was going to dart into traffic doesn't sound like a good one. [/quote]

I don’t think you need to worry too much about the logistics here in order to answer the actual question, but now that I think of it, yes, I guess the mom from the line did actually “follow” us from the line over to where I had picked up and moved my daughter about 5-10 feet or so away from the line, to first say to my daughter, “don’t cry, they still have ice cream” (when my daughter was doing way more than crying — she was already screaming and flailing at that point). My daughter then moved closer to the truck and line, and I was saying to my child, “the truck is closed, she’s all out of cookies and ice cream” (because I thought that was true). And that’s when the woman in the truck said she had ice cream but not for kids who acted like my daughter was acting, and cue second wave of meltdown, and then both women saying directly to my daughter that children who act that way don’t get ice cream. I think. It all happened quickly and the exact play by play is not AT ALL the point.[/quote]

I asked because it's super weird if people are tailing you to keep harassing you about it. If you're holding up the line I can understand other people's frustrations. You don't know what they are dealing with their kids who also want ice cream/cookies etc. Sounds like it was a long line and wait and that's hard for most kids under the best circumstances. But to follow you to keep up the "discipline" is next level weird. I'd be livid and would have harsh words for people who did that. [/quote]

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