Reply to New single mommy...complex situation. Need advice.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here...9:38 and 14:26 are correct. I've looked into this and based on our income disparity (which is similar to 14:26's), the likelihood of my owing him child support is high, even with my 6-figure student loans. This is a big part of why I haven't pushed a legal agreement with him; I fear he'll attempt to capitalize on the situation once he realizes that he can profit from our circumstances. I want to be clear: he's not a bad person (otherwise I'd shield my daughter from him), but youth, low self esteem, and entitlement are a dangerous combination, and he's got all three. I don't think he would ever hurt my baby; but I don't think he's above prioritizing his own wants over her needs, and certainly not over mine. And the travel concerns are legitimate...I'm 9 weeks into this, exhausted, and I just want to move closer to family so I can get some help. And that's several states away.

My current plan is to seek legal counsel as some of you have suggested and eventually have a conversation with him about custody. I want her to know him; no custody arrangement will change my feelings that that is what's best for her. But I'm wary about not protecting her and myself legally, especially as time, new partners, and potential other kids change the picture. Anyone with thoughts on how to have that conversation, I'm all ears. Given his controlling behavior during my pregnancy, I'm not optimistic. [/quote]

OP, I'm sorry, I don't have time to read through all the responses here. But if no one already told this, the courts have a bizarrely strong, strong bias for keeping things exactly the way they are in terms of visitation, etc. If it's "working" for the child, they don't like to change things. So if you're unsure about the role you want him to play in your baby's life, do NOT let him come over for much visitation now.

Best of luck to you.

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