Reply to If there is a SAH spouse, are finances truly equal?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OMG, if he brings in $3M a year, then yes he gets special treatment when it comes to finances!

If he brings in $300K and you're a SAHM, you can arguably say that your sacrifices enabled him to go from $150K to $300K and that if you had a SAH spouse and were similarly committed to your career, you could also bring in $300K.  So in that case, you're still an equal financial partner despite being a SAHM.

But let's be real - $3M is such an outlandishly high income that he deserves more say than you in how that's spent (especially if that money is not even spent on your immediate family).[/quote]

OP here. I had a lot of earning potential. I earned more than DH when we got married. I mommy tracked myself once we had kids so his income continued to rise. I was actually in a more lucrative field than DH. [b]Strangely we usually barely talk about money. [/b]He earns a lot. We do whatever I want. This is probably the first fight over money we had ever.[/quote]

OP I think people are being harsh here because you're so rich, but you have a valid question. And the problem is the bolded part above. I think in every marriage, if one spouse stays at home, there needs to be a frank and open conversation to set out financial responsibilities and decision making. There is no one approach that fits all. What if the WOH spouse is making $100k and the SAH spouse doesn't want to work and they struggle financially? What if the WOH spouse is making $500k and the SAH spouse stays at home with 3 young kids? It also depends if one spouse is a spender and needs to be reigned in or if they are on the same page.

My point, though, is that OP needs to sit DH down and lay all this out. "We have always shared control of finances, but now suddenly there are things I want to spend on that you disagree with. I would like to open a side account for each of us and we put $10k in each a month, and we can spend that account however we like, no guilt." If he spends his on cars, so be it. If OP spend hers on family, so be it.

I suspect her DH will still dip into the joint account for all his cars, but this way she has a pot of money she can access guilt free.

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