Reply to DC shut out from all but one, now wants a gap year

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you should listen to your kid, who is exercising independence in what seems like a really responsible way. He is making a decision that feels right to him, and allowing him to make it (whether or not it goes well!) will benefit your relationship with him in the long term, as well as his confidence in himself. Plus the time with grandparents - of his choosing! It sounds like you have a great kid who knows what he wants/needs right now. Listen to him. College will be there. [/quote]

[b]The issue may be whether the son is exercising independence or over-reacting to a real life setback.[/b][/quote]

This would be my concern as well. If we were in OP's shoes with our DS I think we'd sit him down and tell him why we aren't excited about his plan (I think the bolded concern is important to ask him to spend time thinking about) and lay out all the options which I see as:

1) Go to school with the plan to apply out as a transfer student. 
2) Go to community college and do the same. 
3) Work on grandparents' farm and go to community college and plan to apply.
4) Full gap year and work on farm while reapplying (this being the riskiest option).

That said, after a full conversation and the expectation that DS spend more time thinking on the "why" of his gap year idea, if he still decided to take the year, I'd ultimately accept it. These are young adults and while it's hard to watch them make decisions we don't agree with, ultimately they have to learn to make decisions and live with the outcomes of those choices.

Good luck, OP. [/quote]

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