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[quote=Anonymous]1. Yes if course they can hold baby but not for hours on end. They have made comments like we will just hold baby and hand them back over to feed. That doesn't work for me. Will I be exhausted of course. But if so DH would want to bond. Also our lactation consultant has advised after I get a little sleep- a nursing vacation - basically skin to skin in bed and if I'm napping out baby down in the bassinet or DH gets skin to skin.

We would like to breastfeed and as part of my work I know just how incredibly hard it can be. I also know/prepared for bringing to the chest every 2 hours/loads of skin to skin.

[b]This is not something you can or should litigate ahead of time especially since you have no idea what you'll want. Some babies only sleep while being held and having extra arms around is a literal lifesaver. You and your husband need to be prepared to walk up to them and say, "I'd like Larlo back please," and take the baby back. That's all you need here.[/b]

2. Masking for the first few weeks/months

3. Flu/RSV/covid test before visiting/ even if that means traveling here and waiting a few days before they see us. They would be flying up from Florida

In laws don't get the flu vac. They only have one covid vax. I know if I pressed it they would get them. But it's not just the vaccines. They are careless and they do not limit exposure or social distance.

[b]When is your baby due? It's April right now, I'm assuming it's before cold and flu season. Assuming that's the case, this is too much. Reasonable to ask them to take a covid test, that's it. Provide them, have them wear a mask for the 15 minutes while they're waiting. Beyond that, masking feels like major overkill. I would change my opinion on this if your baby is going to be born after October.[/b]

4. No kissing baby on the face or hands

[b]This feels strict to me, but I know some doctors advise it, so fine. Make sure you let them know that it's fine to kiss the baby on the top of the head![/b]

5. No social media - we don't use regularly and we aren't posting or sharing either

[b]You need to be more specific here. "Please don't post pictures of Larlo on social media" is a reasonable request. Obviously if they want to tweet "went to see my grandson today he's amazing!" it's absurd of you to stop that.[/b]

6. Asking them to stay at a hotel - not sure if that means we would need to pay for the hotel. Open to it

[b]This is an absolute must. I never let people stay in my home when I have a newborn, it's too much work.[/b]

7. Random things like shoes off - which we are always reminding them of, wiping phones w alcohol wipes, washing hands

[b]I'm NOT wading into the shoes off thing if you usually have a shoe free household. BUT if you're just instituting that because of the baby, that's silly. Babies can't even move around at the beginning. Anytime you want to lay them down on the ground, you put a swaddle blanket or something down anyway. Wiping phones? No. You're not their mommy. It is reasonable to ask them to wash their hands before they hold the baby.[/b]

[b]Bottom line: Don't come at them with a ton of rules! Ask them to stay in a hotel, and let them know you'll have a covid test ready for them when they arrive. That's all you need before they arrive. When they get in and ask to hold the baby, ask them to wash their hands first, and let them know that the doctor said not to kiss the baby on the hands and face, but rather the top of the head. When you see them them take a picture, ask to see it, coo, and then say "please don't post on social media, we're keeping his picture off there." That's it. Congrats on the baby. [/b][/quote]

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