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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

he does not sound like a jerk, he is a jerk. he thinks that the role of a woman is to be supporting and encouraging and obtaining what she wants by using her feminility, while the husband obviously is the one who make the right choices for both. poor insecure man, you must really feel very little if you need a partner who can only smile lovingly at you and cannot even express her opinions and participate in the decision making process, other than using her "feminility". sounds like you have self estime issues. I grew up in a family where my parents were equal, loved, respected and supported each other, made each other feel safe and protected, confronted their opinions before making, jointly, any decision. my father was a highly paid professional, and my mother a SAHM, and they were always, before us and everybody, equal partners.[/quote]

You seem to be the type of contentious woman that I am referring to. Always looking for an argument where there is none. Men and women are equal partners but that is where a lot of ladies (and men, but mostly ladies) get confused. Equal does not mean the same. Men and women are not the same. They are not wired the same way, and they don't need the same things out of relationships. You can yell, kick, scream and fight it until the cows come home. It's not going to change biology, and it's only going to make for a miserable home life.

10:37 here. incorrect, I am definitely not a contentious person, actually I am deeply confrontation adverse. I hate arguments, especially when they are pointless, and I would never marry a person who thinks like you - no offense meant, simply we would not be compatible, and both very miserable. I deeply respect my partner's opinions (even in fields traditionally reserved to women, like childrearing) and I expect the same from him.  I express my opinions with the same respect and freedom he does, and I would find profoundly degrading having to smile and bit my tongue, while trying to have my way with some manipulations. this reminds me of my grandmother, but she was born over 100 years ago.   I find your references to a good wife's behavior (not compete with the husband - what does this mean for you, when is a wife competing with her husband? not running over him, not complaining all the time, not bossing him around) quite scary. if anything, they should apply to both spouses, but you mention them only for the wife. and very scary is the reference to the happy wife who feels secure because knows that the husband can make the right choices. maybe i read it wrong, but that sounds a lot like he makes choices for both. I do not see what biology has to do to making decisions on a couple's life, since hopefully the organ used is the brain, and both husband and wife have it. I met men who expressed opinions similar to yours, and had the impression that they are insecure to the point that they need to refer to old gender roles to assert their position in the family. a wife with her own opinions, who challenges theirs, would constitue an attack to their manhood. because they are not confident enough in their role, they need to convince themselves that the woman is overstepping hers. and so they theorize that husband knows best,this is not your role, you are opinionated, you are not a real woman, you are overly emotional and so on . they feel confident by having a partner who does not challenge them, recognizing their role as the head of the house  and the one who knows best. anyway, luckily, at least for me, not all men are like this. there are men who do not need to pidgeonhole themselves in a pre-defined role to know who they are and have enough confidence to look for a spouse who is an equal partner. I chose a man like this and I am happy.         [/quote][/quote]

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