Reply to What is the taboo in 2023 about an unmarried, couple in a committed relationship having kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I suggested to my wife we not get married due to the tax penalty (we ended up paying $20k more per year!) and she was hearing none of that. She was like well then we're paying it. Luckily, god bless President Trump, he eliminated that penalty for pretty much everyone - probably the single biggest pro-family political action ever taken[/quote]

I thought the tax code incentivized marriage? [/quote]

Generally only if one spouse doesn't work. [/quote]

Yup. When DH and I were both in biglaw we were paying many tens of thousands of marriage penalty. I think the first year was $50k and it went up from there. [/quote]

+1.  This is why my partner and I are not married .  We've been together 36 yrs and have 4 kids.  We started dating in HS.  By the time we were around marrying age we were focused on our careers.  It just wasn't something that ever mattered to either one of us so no one was pushing for it.  Each year I still run the numbers for both of us filing single vs filing as a married couple.  I can't remember that the last time that filing married made sense financially.  When I look at the holistic family financial picture paying more in taxes just doesn't make sense.  Since both of us work we each have our own health insurance and we both will get social security.  We have POA, adv directives, and we are the beneficiaries on our retirement accounts.

We've talked about getting married when we retire if it makes sense financially or if there is a medical need for us to marry--like having the ability to make decisions for the other.  But on the other hand, I know people who are divorcing in their 80s as one person enters a nursing home so that the person that is still able to function on their own doesn't end up with no money by the time they need assistance.

Most people don't know we're not legally married.  If anyone is talking about it behind my back, I'm not aware of it.[/quote]

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