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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What does it mean that it “tears up your day”? It’s not sufficient to eat a really light or no lunch since you know this is coming? [/quote]

I think it means that people tend to break up their weekends into Morning, Afternoon, and Evening activities.  A 3pm dinner means that the Afternoon and Evening slots are being taken up with one event.  Example:  Saturday is date night.  You've got a babysitter want to do dinner at your favorite spot or try a new restaurant and then see a show.  But you just ate dinner at 3.  So what are you going to do in the meantime before the show.  Or, dinner starts at three but doesn't end until 5:30 and you don't have enough time or energy to go and attend a later show.  Or, your kids do sports or activities in the mornings and are ravenous afterwards.  Then Grandma gets her feelings hurt when they pick at her meal because they just ate lunch.  Personally, I think that withholding or limiting food from children, during natural mealtimes when they are hungry, to please someone else isn't a good thing to model outside of special occasions like Thanksgiving.  [/quote]

Op - this. I have a zillion things I need to achieve and dinner at this time eats up 2 slots - plus I have to feed the kids at their usual lunchtime so then it’s totally random time to eat. I don’t want to linger for hours trying to get my kids to behave and talk to a bunch of elderly ppl [/quote]

It's definitely a strange time for dinner unless you go to bed at like 7pm.  Or if you eat again after dinner.  Once in a while (like for a holiday) I would suck it up but if it's every week, I'd ask about doing lunch instead (or dinner at a time that works with the kids' schedules).[/quote]

op- i would say it happens whenever we visit them for any kind of extended family thing. maybe 5x a year. 
I think it triggers me because it sort of implies that the visitor doesn't have anything else going on with their day. our lives are SO hectic with insane work schedule and kids. ILs are retired and do absolutely zero. I think on some level it feels oblivious to the lives of others to me. bc when i make arrangements they typically revolve around and include the visitor in the calculations - eg 'you're coming from an hour or two hours away - what makes sense, a brunch or lunch or dinner?" none of that communication ever happens. [/quote]

You have 360 other days in the year to do whatever you need to do. This sounds like an overreaction to holidays and family get togethers that happen rarely.  Just don't go if you can't be bothered or are so inflexible.[/quote]

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