Reply to What punishments are acceptable for 18+ year olds?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Punishment for what?

Pay for their own bail, pay for the lawyer.[/quote]

Sibling arguments, chore refusal, refusing to do something for sibling or parent in a time of panic etc[/quote]
I can't imagine punishing an adult for arguing with their sibling.  And you don't assign chores to another adult.  If they are living at home, they are expected to pick up after themselves and do their share of household tasks, just as they would if they were living with roommates.  If they are unwilling to carry their weight, then (1) I'd stop doing chores and favors that benefit them and (2) we'd be setting a timeline for them to move out.

And I'd need more facts about "refusing to do something" in a "time of panic."  What was the emergency?  What did you want them to do?  Was it really necessary for them to do that?  Would doing that require them to, say, miss work?  Generally, I just don't do favors for people who don't reciprocate, so the natural consequences of refusing to help out in a pinch would be that they shouldn't expect me to help them out when they are in a jam, barring actual or imminent bodily injury or danger.[/quote]

Yeah, refusing to do something in a "time of panic" is a red flag for me because this indicates that the PARENT was in a panic and was asking their kid to help them out of a jam. This indicates a parent who operates on an emergency basis a lot and expects their children to pick up the slack. Problematic, to say the least. The fact that now that parent is looking to punish the child for not helping them out of a jam just speaks to a very dysfunctional relationship, likely one in which their adult child has been parentified and is probably fighting back against it now that they are not legally a minor.[/quote]
The thing that's the red flag for me is that OP even came up with this as an example, suggesting that it's something that happens regularly.  How many emergencies do you have, that your adult child not helping out is a major issue?  [/quote]

+1 with the “time of panic”. [/quote]

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