Reply to People who still have both parents/1 parent just don't get it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm very sorry for your losses. I say this kindly, but please consider therapy. It's normal to feel sadness and a sense of loss. What you describe is not normal, though, especially after so many years. [/quote]

I think the main reason why I'm still struggling with the loss of my parents is that there was never a proper 'goodbye'.

My mom died only 7 months after her cancer diagnosis. She never felt able to talk about her terminal illness with me and my dad. She could talk about mundane things like the weather but not about her cancer.

My mom did have a private conversation with a priest 2 weeks before her death. In a way I feel glad that she did talk to someone.

Dad died of sepsis after 3 years of illness and a weakened immune system. Sepsis takes hold of the body very quickly. 
With both deaths there was no opportunity for me to say goodbye and talk to them, there was no real closure.[/quote]

You need professional help at this point as you are not able to move on and it impacts your day to day life.

It’s been a long time and the no proper good bye is not the issue this far out past their deaths. It would be one thing if the grief was every now and then but for you to is consuming and even seeing pictures of other people have a good time with their parents upsets you. At this point in time, your reaction is not normal. Please get help so that you could move on.

Both of my parents have now been dead for +12 yrs and they both died suddenly . Both died from heart attacks out of the blue - my father first and my mother about 6 years after him. They were both relatively young. There was no chance to say good bye and yes that hurt and causes more grief but over the year or two after their death that feeling subsided. I don’t feel upset or mad when people tell me about plans with their parents or show me pictures.[/quote]

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