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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Time for a heart-to-heart. Have you told her how you feel?[/quote]

We are having the discussions and this is where it gets tricky. I bring up an issue but instead of dealing with issue 1, she brings up issue 2 and now the entire meeting is about issue 2.

So let's say it's about her ignoring me. I bring it up, then she brings up me going on Facebook. And before I can respond she's got like 6 different instances of when this has occurred and I'm trying to remember instance 2. So the conversations never go like I want them to. And they never get back to my points.

I feel isolated though. I don't know if she realizes what she's doing is cutting at my self conscious to so call build my social confidence. Like I was really having thoughts this morning of "quitting" the kind of work that I do. I don't know what that means though because would I really quit, or would I stop doing research, would I look for an admin or financial job?

So much of who I am is based on this personality and the fact that I was thinking of quitting is what made me write this today. I needed somebody to talk with and like I said my wife is good at turning it around and making me the villain (not saying I'm not) but I just wanted to vent today[/quote]

Ah yeah, this is off limits. My husband used to do this too. He's conflict-avoidant, so he would store up all his resentments until I brought up my thing, and suddenly he'd unleash his list of 10 things instead of talking about my one thing. I just pointed out that that's what he was doing and told him he needed to learn to bring up his things when they bothered him. Dumping them all on me in a torrent of, "Oh you're upset with me? Well here are a million things I'm upset about!" is never going to make a marriage better. He's been in individual therapy for many years now and has learned to have better insight into himself, communication skills, etc.[/quote]

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