Reply to Concerned about my wife's lack of desire to expand her social circle

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Concerned about my wife's lack of desire to expand her social circle"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. The responses have definitely given me some good things to chew on. I think the PP that said "when the kids were younger, it was just easier to spend time with the grandparents, rather than trying to meet new people." I think that sums up our situation in a nutshell.

The more I think about it, this is probably more related to my issues than I've previously admitted. While I absolutely love our daughter and being her Dad, and have zero regrets about having her when we did, I find that I miss the pre-parent days more than I expected I would. Perhaps it's because I subconsciously assumed that when covid was "over," our social live would improve, but that hasn't been the case. I also think that I probably need more socialization than my wife does. Like I think that seeing her parents/sister provides my wife a high majority of her needed socialization. And this isn't a knock on my in-laws, as I genuinely enjoy spending time with them, but I need more socialization than just that. [/quote]

She might prefer spending time with family because family helps her manage her kid, or she doesn't feel like she has to keep the kid on best behavior the whole time.

As others are saying, look at your role in this. Are you an attentive, involved parent when you socialize as a family? Or do you devote all your attention to socializing and she has to scramble after your DD and fit in conversation around that? Because that's probably way less enjoyable for her and causes her resentment.

Are you making the effort to pack the bag, dress your DD appropriately, think through what to bring, plan around nap, etc? Or is that all on your wife? Taking a preschool aged child to a social event requires advance prep and planning. Try it solo and you'll see.

Is it a PITA to get you to leave when the kid and your wife are tired at the end? Do you make her feel like a boring downer for it, and pout? Things like that will make her not want to go at all.[/quote]

+1.  I actually like socializing, but sometimes I tell my DH to go without me (or just take our older child) because I know I'm just going to spend the whole time running after the 18 month old, who will be cranky bc his nap is going to be messed up, and probably have a blowout that I will have to deal with.  Do you guys have a babysitter you trust?[/quote]

This. Or we'll have a fight because he says he's watching a kid and then he gets distracted and the kid breaks something or climbs on something or does something dangerous. So I'm never not watching, I have to watch his watching, and that means it isn't much fun for me.

OP, if you want another baby this problem will get worse. Take an HONEST inventory of yourself and your behavior if you want to keep your social life alive.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics