Reply to I don’t like my daughter. I know this won’t ever change-

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP I had similar feelings about my child when he was much younger (6-10). Then he slowly began to change and my attitude began changing too. I know the teenage years are still ahead for the both of us (he is almost 13) but some things have helped me.
- accepting him as a lazy person trying to get away with doing  as little as possible. I think it is very human, and people are born conscientious or lazy, it’s a scale. I do teach him work ethics but I have mostly accepted that he will be lazier than me or many others who actually achieve something;
- accepting that he is not ambitious;
- putting my child first. If there are any concerns from teachers, I approach it as trying to help him -
I used to be ashamed that he doesn’t perform up to par - now I give him the benefit of the doubt 
- I keep telling him how being pleasant and displaying interest and a caring attitude can help one in life - he doesn’t have to really care but he needs to emulate respect and a positive attitude. I hope he fakes it till he makes it
- I keep telling him that unfortunately we are quite limited in how we live our lives and what we do. The art of happiness is choosing the least hated option and looking at the positive side of things. We all have to go to school and work and we can make the best of it but we can’t really escape it fully

It was mostly my acceptance that changed things I think. I plan to keep it up. He won’t ever be in a great college or an outstanding specialist at work, but at least he is smart and good looking and not horrible personality wise and hopefully he will be a productive citizen - what’s more to wish for?[/quote]

There are quite a lot of assumptions made here.  I feel sorry for your kid.  Sounds like you have very unrealistically high expectations.  To get the best out of your kid, lead, invite and inspire.  See what happens.  Be open.  Deciding your kid is a loser no matter what and "making peace with it" is very lazy on your part.[/quote]

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