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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mother is emotionally immature in a way that requires everyone to walk on eggshells and tend to her moods. Since I was able to move away, I’ve maintained a distant but friendly relationship with my parents with visits once or twice a year. When I had kids the visits became more frequent, and for a while our relationship improved because it centered on the baby. Now my oldest is 5 and parenting her has brought up a lot of realizations about how poorly my parents treated me as a child, through my own memories and because they feel the need to offer their take and advice on how i should be teaching my child to respect me, not cry, etc. It’s eye opening to watch my mother throw a tantrum about something not going her way (literally storm off, cancel plans, etc if someone dares inconvenience or upset her) and then chastise my 5 year old for getting angry and crying for some normal kid reason. I find myself much less willing to cater to my mothers moods now and it’s led to a lot of drama because she complains constantly to anyone who will listen when she feels she’s been wronged and will hold a grudge until someone comes groveling back, which I’m not willing to do.

Posting here for commiseration and also advice if anyone has found good strategies for managing similar family dynamics.[/quote]

Notices phenomenal a lot that people will tolerate bad or toxic behavior and becoming a parent often clarifies for them that they do not want to repeat those behaviors on their children and want to protect them from their grandparents.

I encourage you to figure out your boundaries with your mom and warn you that often times people who are used to manipulating loved ones to get whatever they want do not often respond well to boundaries and will escalate[/quote]

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