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[quote=Anonymous]DH and I are in our 2nd year of with-kid-marriage, and thanks to hard work and committment on both ends we're doing really well.  Better than pre-baby, actually.  Probably b/c we're both so afraid of falling into "that trap" that we are making more of an effort.
-Divvy up stuff.  One p/u kid, one p/u dog food.  One does bedtime, one does kitchen cleanup.  Etc.  
-You both need some alone/me time... I go to the gym (but wake at the a$$crack of dawn for it), DH is okay with just a few mins alone with the iPad.  Whatever you need.
-Communication.  You need to find a good way to say, "I love you but XYZ behavior is driving me nuts."  You no longer have time for long, drawn out arguments and passive aggressiveness.
-Give DH alone time with baby early and often.  Good for both of them and good for you too.  Bonus points if it's regular (ie every Sat morning, or Tues evening, or whatever).
-Be flexible.  You might think, now, that co-sleeping is a good/bad idea.  Then you have a baby who thinks the exact opposite.  Whatever arrangement gets EVERYONE in the house the MOST RESTFUL sleep is the best arrangement and all previously held ideas need to go away.
-Make regular time for each other but don't feel pressured into "date nights."  DH and I have had exactly two "leave the baby with a sitter DATEs" in 16 mos and we are totally, completely fine with that.  We have alone time almost every night after she's asleep and we make a point of spending qt together at that time.  Thing is, we both WOH FT and at the end of the day/week/month... all we really want to do is put on comfy clothes, play with the kid a little, and veg out.  Not put on nice clothes and go in public.  I know others feel totally differently about this but whatever.  Whatever works for you.
-Make sure DH is aware that the first weeks PP are... unsettling... for everyone, and that you may not be yourself.  In fact, you may not be yourself for a while.  Giving birth is not a walk in the park, bf can totally suck, and you are sleep deprived.  Etc.  I know that DH cut me a lot of slack the first few weeks, picked up more than his share, and did a great job running interferenece with relatives, etc.  If you are doing birth classes, make sure that he attends.  [/quote]

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