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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What does conservative/republican mean to him/you?  My deal breaker issues are aligned views on abortion access, LGBTQ+ rights, and systematic racism is a real thing.  If he's going to disagree/debate with me on those, I'm going to feel like he thinks me/my friends aren't human and/or don't deserve fundamental human rights and not be able to be rational about him in other areas at all.  Other issues that I feel strongly about but am less emotionally close to personally like gun rights, the role of law enforcement, taxation, the role of government, immigration policy, etc it would depend how far on the republican/conservative spectrum he was and if we both were able to respect each other and our respective opinions on these subjects.[/quote]

NP. The above post is a good yardstick for thinking about this. Things don't have to be as black and white as "all conservatives are bad." My DH is in law enforcement and those who know him on the surface would assume he's conservative, and he is, in many ways. But he also is a huge believer in personal privacy and individual agency, and thinks it's insane for "conservatives" to be anti-abortion--he sees abortion as an intensely personal choice where government has no business at all, and he does not see it as a moral wrong, either. He is sort of the same about LGBTQ+ issues; he doesn't "get" the fuss but that's largely because he says, again, it's simply no one's business how anyone else chooses to identify or partner or love. And again, he does not see a moral wrong in anyone being LGBTQ+ either--he's got Christian faith but is not a religious conservative. He was against gay marriage, figuring people could "just live together if they want," until I laid out for him the idea of people being unable to make medical decisions for or even visit a partner who was in the hospital, if they were a couple but unable to marry, etc. It makes a huge difference that he has a close relative who came out as lesbian and that at first floored him, as she'd been married to a man, then he made real efforts to understand how she had sublimated that side of herself for many years.

Oh, and he hates Trump with the fury of a thousand blazing suns. He hates liars and frauds, and from the very first time Trump even mentioned running for office, he loathed Trump because, as he puts it, "Regular people have been fooled into thinking this man understands their lives and cares about them when he doesn't and never would." Yeah, he despises Trump and the whole Fox News world. Thank God. He says he's independent now, not Republican. He, like me, is old enough to remember the days of centrist Republican lawmakers who believed in bipartisanship and who were sometimes fiscally conservative but socially more liberal, or at least believed privacy was more important than legislated attacks on personal decisions like abortion. [/quote]

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