Reply to Parents and ILs Don't Get Along

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why does everyone have to go to every one of your daughter's events? Just keep it to yourselves and stop inviting everyone. [/quote]

This. And if they ask why you didn't invite them, state that they are acting like children and make DD's events too stressful. Keep doing this until they can behave.

When an adult acts like a child, treat them that way.[/quote]

OP here. I don't invite them to everything. I actually didn't invite any of them to something recently and they were miffed. This particular event they both are aware of and expressed interest in coming. [/quote]

So what? Let them be miffed. That said, you need to be a role model for your kids. If your parents are treating inlaws unfairly, speak up and ask your parents to be polite. It doesn't matter if it escalates things. Pretending like it isn't a problem, contributes to the problem. You cannot change them, but you can let them know you see the mean behavior and you don't find it acceptable. You want your kids to defend people who are treated unfairly right? Even adults need to stand up for eachother. It's not playing favorites.

Lecturing both sides on being grownups when one side is being nasty and the other side finally responds is insane.

Also, eliminate the problems by simply dividing things up. In the workplace some people cannot work together so you simply don't put them on teams together. Adults absolutely will backstab, undermine, etc. You don't need to be a referee, but if you see injustice, speak up.[/quote]

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